![]() ![]() Children with abandonment issues may be more easily upset and often have difficulty regulating their emotions. In children, abandonment issues often show up as anxiety, especially when separating from a caregiver. Others with abandonment fears will allow people to get close, but become volatile, aggressive, or emotionally reactive with their partner when they feel threatened or upset. Others will become overly needy in relationships and will develop patterns of codependency, relying on the other person to meet all of their emotional needs. Some will push people away, withdraw and develop trust issues, unable to open up and be honest with loved ones. People with abandonment issues will display unhealthy patterns in their relationships, like: Pushing People Away These are categorized as different “attachment styles.” ![]() The particular types of defense mechanisms a person with abandonment issues develops can be different. People with abandonment issues are more likely to have developed specific defense mechanisms that make it more difficult to form close, healthy relationships. 5 Disorganized attachment is sometimes associated with antisocial, narcissistic, or borderline personality traits and disorders.Ībandonment issues show up in a person’s relationships, and tend to impact romantic relationships the most. This attachment style is distinguished by inconsistencies in the way a person behaves and responds in relationships, sometimes exhibiting features of either anxious or avoidant styles. ![]() People with a disorganized attachment style tend to be uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness, and often lack empathy. They tend to be emotionally reactive, interpreting conflict or arguments as a signal that their partner will leave them and engaging in fear-based behavior to avoid being abandoned. They often are needy, persistent, and have difficulty separating themselves from their partner in healthy ways. People with an anxious attachment style cope with fears of abandonment by latching on to others and developing intensely close and codependent relationships. They often fear commitment and avoid conflict by either shutting down, leaving, or even ending the relationship. They may be characteristically distant, private, or withdrawn. People with an avoidant attachment style tend to cope with abandonment issues by not allowing people to get close to them, and not opening up and trusting others. The three insecure attachment styles are: 1,5 Avoidant Attachment Style Each insecure attachment style features distinct patterns of behavior, defense mechanisms, and ways of coping with the fear of abandonment. Each of the insecure attachment styles is believed to stem from relational trauma, and more specifically from early interactions with caregivers who were unresponsive, unpredictable, or abusive. Most researchers agree that there are three distinct types of insecure attachment styles. Those without these experiences may go on to develop an insecure attachment. 3,7Ī secure attachment style represents a person who learns to trust and open up to others, is responsive and warm to others, and can form healthy and close relationships. The ability to communicate feelings, wants, and needs is also influenced by attachment styles, as is the way a person responds to conflict and stress. Attachment styles also influence the way that a person perceives themselves and others, helping form core beliefs that inform their actions and choices. 7 Attachment styles affect a person’s ability to develop healthy, trusting relationships and to connect with others. This leads to the development of an “insecure attachment style.” 2,3 Insecure Attachment Styles & Fear of AbandonmentĪttachment styles are relevant to several aspects of a child’s development and continue to impact a person across the lifespan. When this does not happen, the child remains in a state of chronic stress and fear, stunting their development and preventing specific important social and emotional milestones from being reached. When parents and caregivers respond in consistent warm, attentive ways to the feelings and needs of children, children develop a “secure attachment” and are able to develop normally. Early interactions between a child and their parent or caregiver impact all aspects of a child’s physical, cognitive, social, and emotional development, and abandonment issues stemming from childhood often persist into adulthood. Often, abandonment issues stem from early childhood traumas involving a parent or caregiver. Fears of abandonment can usually be traced back to specific painful experiences of being betrayed, hurt, or abandoned by someone. ![]()
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